It can be difficult to tell whether someone likes you. It can be even more challenging to figure out exactly how and why they are interested in you. Are they just looking for a bit of company? Are they after some romance and snuggling? Or do they want even more?
Research reveals that there's a lot of confusion on the topic, especially between what men and women think—and how they may wrongly estimate each other's interest. Nevertheless, researchers have identified ways to figure out how a prospective date or mate feels about you. They suggest focusing on specific behaviors.
This topic was explored in a classic article by Kowalski (1993). In two studies, the researcher asked men and women to rate the level of sexual interest indicated by 27 different behaviors. Those ratings were then used to group the behaviors into three categories, as well as to look at gender differences in perceptions of those behaviors.
Kowalski’s results demonstrated that men and women can view the same interpersonal behaviors very differently. Men tended to perceive more sexual interest than women, especially when evaluating ambiguous behaviors like smiling at someone or sharing a drink with them. With more overtly sexual behaviors, however, there was greater agreement between women and men.
Men and women showed more agreement on behaviors that showed general dating interest, romantic interest, or sexual interest. Thus, results indicated that you could get a general sense of interest by categorizing behavior into one of those three groupings.
Dating Behaviors:........