In recent years, narcissism has received more attention than ever before. Unfortunately, this has not always correlated with an increased understanding of narcissistic personality disorder. Through social media, people are often encouraged to "diagnose" individuals in their lives with narcissism based on lists of dislikable traits that do not always correlate with the condition. While some survivors of emotional abuse have found this information helpful in understanding tactics of manipulation, there is a nasty dark side.

Among the most concerning trends involving narcissistic personality is parents labeling their children with the condition. Once a child's behavior is viewed through this lens, the child is at risk of being demonized and less likely to receive what they need. Rather than being offered the intensive psychotherapeutic treatments that are available to adults with the condition, such as mentalization-based therapy (Drozek and Unrah, 2020), the youth is more likely to be scapegoated in the family and given a message that they are "bad.'"

A teen who sees themselves as "bad" is set to continue acting in ways others see as "bad." Their self-worth is bound to drop. If they are dealing with something more severe, like depression, they may lose trust in family and other adults, making them less likely to discuss what they are going through.

Youths struggling with developing attachment and personality difficulties deserve love and help. Shame is the opposite of this. Treatment of any other health condition in this way would constitute abuse. The reality is that most of these children do not have a narcissistic personality........

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