What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

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What we tell ourselves under our breath can have profound effects on our emotional states.

One word that can bring the hammer down on your feelings about yourself is the word “must.”

'Musterbation' is a form of thinking that can make you miserable.

Readers who follow this blog may know that it often highlights the power of words and how they impact us. A change in one word can make a big difference, as a suitor may find out when they pop the question and get a “no” in response.

In practicing cognitive behavioral therapy, I've learned to pay close attention to the particular words patients use when they speak about themselves and their life experiences. No big reveal here, but I’ve noticed that helping them tweak their inner speech can have positive effects on their emotional states.

Changing a word here and there may not seem like much. But if you regularly monitor what you say to yourself under your breath and switch a word here and there, you may be surprised at how such a little change can affect how you feel. The focus here is on one of the most troublesome little words that can bring the hammer down on our emotional well-being—the word “must.” There are many situations in which “must” words matter, such as when we say to ourselves, “I must do this," "I must achieve that,” or its inverse, "I mustn't do that."

The Tyranny of the Must

The word "must" derives from Old English roots meaning “to have to.” It is an imperative that dictates what we are required to do. Musts enter our vocabulary early in life when parents issue commands such........

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