When Lisa contacted me to discuss concerns with her 11-year-old daughter, Lilly (names in this example have been changed), she described her as highly anxious. Lisa's call resonated with what I hear from many other parents of children and teens. Yes, generally speaking, they are anxious. But when I meet with these kids, the most striking specific struggle I see is that their minds won't shut down. That's not a good mental state for a child or teen.

These kids' overthinking brains keep scanning for certainty. They keep replaying "What ifs?" about past and future conversations, how they did in school, and what will happen in their social lives. Lilly, in particular, had a tough time letting go of thoughts that her friends secretly don't like her, even though there was no evidence of this.

It is essential to understand that overthinking is not a personality quirk. Instead, it is a driver of anxiety and stunted confidence in so many children who struggle with it. I have found that many parents find it heart-wrenching that, for these children........

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