The Silent Struggle Behind Adult Child "Laziness"

If you are the parent of a struggling adult child, like many of those whom I coach, you may be asking yourself the following questions:

Did I push him too hard?

Should I push harder?

Am I enabling or abandoning?

What is painful for so many parents at this stage is not just watching them struggle. It is the feeling that nothing you do can seem to help anymore?

If you can stay with me for a shift in your perspective, please consider this: Many adult children aren't resisting responsibility; they are resisting shame.

Sure, from the outside, it looks like they are not even trying, whether this refers to:

But having worked with many struggling adult children and their parents, I have repeatedly seen that internally, these adult children are battling a corrosive, self-defeating belief:

I'm behind. I have disappointed everyone. If I try and fail again, it........

© Psychology Today