As Thanksgiving approaches, many parents eagerly anticipate their college freshman coming home for the first extended break since the start of their new adventure. It’s natural to want updates about classes, friends, and campus life. However, as a parent coach, I have repeatedly seen how a single well-meaning question can unintentionally dampen the holiday cheer.
On the surface, asking “How’s school going?” seems harmless. However, a first-year college student can feel loaded with expectations and pressure. Adjusting to college is a big transition, and they may be grappling with homesickness, academic challenges, or the realities of living independently.
Take Ryan, for example. He had always been an honor roll student in high school, but his first semester in college was a whirlwind of demanding coursework and social adjustments. When his dad casually asked “How’s school going?” during Thanksgiving dinner, Ryan felt ashamed. He hadn’t told his parents about the C he’d gotten on a midterm or how much he struggled to find footing.
Similarly, Mia, a freshman at a big state university, was overwhelmed by her parents’ questions about her grades and whether she’d joined any........