When dealing with an adult child who has an active addiction, parents often feel torn between the desire to help and the fear of enabling harmful behaviors. The instinct to protect and support your child can be overwhelming without clear boundaries; you may inadvertently make it easier for them to continue down a destructive path.
Establishing firm yet compassionate boundaries is crucial for protecting your well-being while encouraging healthier choices for your child. Based on my parent coaching practice, here are four essential boundaries to consider, examples, and practical tips to help you navigate this difficult situation.
Providing financial help is a natural response for many parents, but when addiction is involved, money can be used to sustain harmful habits rather than meet genuine needs. Setting a clear boundary around financial assistance is necessary to avoid enabling the addiction. While it may be difficult, limiting or even cutting off financial support can help your child face the reality of their situation and motivate them to seek recovery.
For instance, Agnes, a mother in her early 50s, discovered that every time she gave her son, Warren, money for rent, he quickly asked for more, often claiming a new financial emergency. Suspicious that her funds were not being used as intended, Agnes set a firm boundary: She would no longer give Warren cash directly. Instead, if Warren needed essentials like food or a bus pass, she would buy these items for him, but........