How to Handle a Manipulator When They Don’t Get Their Way
Chronic manipulators have one goal in mind: to get their way. In an effort to meet that goal, they will use, cajole, and mistreat anyone who stands in their way. Most of the time, those tactics garner them the win they’re seeking, but what happens when a manipulator doesn’t get their way?
Current research suggests that manipulators start to sacrifice their own well-being when trying to justify their manipulative actions without internally condemning those actions. That indicates a strong internal reaction starts to take place when manipulators face a difference between their actual behaviors and their ideal behaviors. That dissonance could force positive change, but it also holds the risk of increasing their maladaptive behaviors—as a way to soothe that internal conflict.
For victims of chronic manipulation, what does it look like, in real life, when a manipulator pulls out all the stops but still faces defeat? If victims are going to actively work to thwart their manipulators, it takes dedication and a willingness to take risks; learning to recognize the aftereffects of stopping a manipulator from getting what they want from you can be a survival tool in these situations. Manipulators who don’t get what they want typically engage in several predictable reactions:
1. They lash out at others
If a manipulator fails to successfully do what they’re best at, their immediate response usually........
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