Parental narcissism has become an increasingly researched topic, with recent analysis showing a correlation between narcissistic parents and anxious and avoidant attachment styles in adult children. Growing our awareness of how narcissism can impact parenting is important to help support systems recognize patterns and know when—and how—to intervene (Palumbo, 2023).

Narcissistic parents exhibit several common traits when interacting with their children—traits that are the opposite of healthy parenting, which requires high levels of empathy, respect, and, yes, self-sacrifice. Well-functioning parents are able to simultaneously impose authority and warm regard for their children, to deeply care for their children’s needs and emotions while also safeguarding their need for rules and boundaries.

Understanding how narcissists parent is a crucial first step to changing those hurtful patterns and paving the way to using healthier strategies when raising children. Here are five common parenting “rules” that narcissistic parents commonly use:

1. The parent’s desires always come first. In healthy parent-child relationships, parents are capable of putting their own interests aside when necessary for their children’s well-being. Of course, that does not mean children’s wants always come first; rather, it means that a healthy functioning parent understands that a little self-sacrifice goes hand in hand with parenting.

Narcissistic parents do not consider their children’s needs as equal to their own (and never as more important). In their eyes, what comes first should be their own desires, as they tend to view their children as subordinates—people who exist to pay them homage, in a sense.........

© Psychology Today