A Reason to Smile at “Can” and Give “Should” the Side Eye |
What Is Emotion Regulation?
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The ideas that we can control what we feel and should control what we feel are distinct.
It’s unclear how notions of controlling emotions and what we feel might be different depending on our age.
Results showed that younger people who thought they should control their feelings felt worse.
Everyone who thought they could control their feelings felt better no matter their age.
Whether we realize it or not, we all have ideas about what we feel. We even have notions about whether we’re capable of controlling our emotions and if we’re supposed to do so. To put it differently, we have what are referred to as “can” and “should” beliefs when it comes to our feelings.
Your “can” beliefs basically apply to whether you think you’re able to manage your feelings and how you communicate what you feel to other people. For example, let’s say you’re feeling irritated. Do you think you can do something to manage that feeling or what you show to others? For example, maybe you decide to go outside because you know you’ll feel better; you do some slow breathing, listen to a funny podcast, accept your irritation, or calmly name your........