Early in her career, USA Today best-selling author Emma Grey felt like rejection would break her. Today, she’s made rejection something to reach for.

The fear of rejection is evolutionary—we are hardwired to avoid rejection in order to survive and protect social cohesion. In fact, research shows that rejection triggers the same brain regions as physical pain (Kross et al., 2011).

While fearing the pain of rejection can lead to self-doubt, hesitation to pursue our desires, and feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness, the experience of rejection can actually build resilience.

Rather than leaning into a rash reaction to rejection, tolerating the uncomfortable feelings and continuing to persevere can help us to maximize the common experience of rejection (Lesnick & Mendle, 2021). Negative emotions in response to rejection are expected—coping strategies like cognitive reappraisal, seeking social support, pursuing self-growth, and making changes using a problem-focused approach can help us to achieve success in the wake of rejection (Antletse Phiriepa et al., 2025).

Emma Grey is the author of seven books, including The Last Love Note and Pictures of You, which has been optioned for television. Her forthcoming novel, Start at the End, will be published in April 2026. Its recent rejection by the screenwriter, director, and producer of her dreams became the career highlight of her life.

Rather than fearing rejection, Grey reframes it as proof of courage. Aiming for rejection has led to unexpected breakthroughs and successes that might have never happened without the courage to try and endure rejection. Here’s her take on why rejection is a worthy goal

Q: How has rejection played a valuable role in your personal and professional journey?

Emma Grey (EG): My relationship with rejection is welded so tightly to success that I can barely tell where failure ends and achievement begins.

It has become about much more than........

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