Carrie Mullins, author of The Book of Mothers: How Literature Can Help Us Reinvent Modern Motherhood, was tired of following an unexamined set of expectations for what motherhood looks like, so she wrote a book in hopes that it would offer insight into the social constructs around what it means to be a mother.
“We don’t talk enough about how our understanding of motherhood—i.e. why we think mothers should look, act, parent, and love in a certain way—is simply a set of cultural expectations that’s been built up over time, and rarely by women themselves,” she explained. “I hope the book encourages readers to treat mothers as equally important, interesting, and unique as any other character. When we flatten fictional mother figures to cliches, it becomes easier to treat real women the same way.”
Undoubtedly, society’s set of expectations for mothers impacts maternal mental health. However, limited peer-reviewed research has been done on mothers’ mental health outside of the perinatal period. One survey conducted through the community app Peanut revealed that 72% of women feel invisible in the mothering role. 93% reported feeling unappreciated, unacknowledged or unseen, and 93% said that, since having a child, they feel their identity is now limited to “mother” (Peanut, 2023).
With mothers bearing the brunt of the “invisible family load,” in addition to their professional responsibilities outside the home, it's no wonder that moms often feel stressed and burnt out. From managing the home, to remembering to send grandma a birthday card, to holding space for her child’s big feelings about losing the game, mothers tend to be the one holding it all together at home, regardless of their outside........