Interracial Marriage: What to Consider When Moving Forward |
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Most interracial and interethnic marriages are doing well, according to our interviews and surveys.
One challenge is processing high-profile racially charged events when partners have different backgrounds.
Raising children who may not resemble either parent and may have a different identity requires communication.
First, some facts: One in 10 Americans are in an interracial or interethnic marriage. Using classifications from the U.S. Census Bureau, interracial marriage was defined as between five racial groups—American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian (e.g., Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, Korean, Asian Indian), Black or African American (e.g., Jamaican, Haitian, Nigerian), Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander, or White (e.g., German, Italian, Lebanese, Egyptian). An interethnic marriage was also defined (using the Census Bureau’s terms) as between Hispanic/Latinos and non-Hispanic/Latinos.
In our new book, Interracial Marriage: How Diverse Couples Navigate Relationships in a Divided Time, Victoria Stubbs, Michael Woolley, and I describe race as a social construct, one forever changing in a period of our history when race is political and has been brought into the homes of so many Americans as a topic of discussion. Our couples were surveyed and interviewed at a time of unrest marked by the Black Lives Matter Movement, COVID-19 and anti-Asian sentiments, and debates over open borders.
Many Americans have such marriages in their own families or will soon; one in six newlyweds now marries someone of a different race or ethnicity. The number of people who identify as multiracial or biracial is also clearly on the rise, and more mixed-race/mixed-ethnic children will be products of these marriages. Asian Americans and Latines (a term we use) are most likely to intermarry.
In our interviews and surveys with close to 600 people in mixed marriages, the majority rate their marriage as highly satisfactory. Many feel accepted by friends and both families-of-origin and report that when they go out into society, they can easily navigate social situations without trepidation. Spouses feel they have learned a great deal about themselves and other cultural experiences and, in some cases, believe they are at the forefront of building a more diverse and loving world for themselves and their children.
Yet within some couples, whether they have children or not, struggles emerged that require more work on the relationship than mono-racial or mono-ethnic couples may need to put in. Some of the key challenges discussed in the interviews include:
Agreeing on where to live: People often feel most comfortable living in neighborhoods with people who look like them or share common key characteristics. Seeking out mixed neighborhoods where one race or ethnicity did not feel out of place was a priority and required a great deal of discussion.
Processing high-profile hate-related events: The murders of George Floyd and others compelled many couples to talk about appearance, gender, and safety. For example, one White woman married to a Black man became painfully aware for the first time of the risks facing her husband and her biracial children. Such events, as well as comments made by politicians, are sometimes processed differently by the partners, given their own histories with discrimination and racial trauma.
Appearing in public: We often heard that, when in their homes, the relationship flourished, but when out in certain situations, the spouses were on guard. Traveling to specific counties or states was avoided; keeping an eye out in restaurants or on public transportation was typical; sending a majority spouse into a store to return an item was weighed as to what the reception would be. In addition, couples who believe they appear to be in a mixed marriage when out in public (about one-third replied they did not think they were always identified as such) struggled more on many of the items that measured comfort.
Keeping an eye on gender and privilege: The intersection of race and gender and the composition of the couple matter. Historically, Black-White marriage has drawn the most attention, particularly between Black men and White women. For some of the spouses who were not White, marrying a White person, as unfortunate as it sounds, often was viewed as conveying privilege. This requires the couple to talk through and understand how this affects their marriage dynamics.
Raising children: Half of those with children believed their children were very comfortable with their racial/ethnic identity. When and how to talk about race with children was a frequent question, as children often do not resemble either parent; in addition, siblings may not resemble each other. Children might change their racial identity as they age, as well as the groups with which they wish to affiliate. Parents may not be acknowledged as being a child’s parent when out in public, sometimes being seen as a nanny or a coach.
All these challenges, and these are just a few, require ongoing conversations amongst couples whom we view as having triumphed in coming to understand and love each other at a time of great division. We can learn from them how to listen and be open to each other while recognizing their diverse experiences. As we near Loving Day on June 12, let us all celebrate together how far our country has come and recognize that there is still a distance to go.
Take our Relationship Satisfaction Test
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Greif, G.L , Stubbs, V.D., & Woolley, M.E. (2026). Interracial Marriage: How Diverse Couples Navigate Relationships in a Divided Time, Columbia University Press.
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