I hear it all the time in healthcare:
Doc 1: “Oh, man, I didn’t get out of the hospital until at least seven every night last week. Didn’t make it home for a single dinner with the kids.”
Doc 2: “I know what you’re sayin’. I didn’t make it home once ’til after nine all week. Didn’t even see my kids.”
I am sure this goes on in all high-intensity industries. We congregate and begin to complain about our lot. Then, a colleague one-ups us. Another chimes in and beats that. We feel pressured to trump them both. And so it goes.
How about you? Do you partake? Do you itch to beat your colleagues in a misery sweepstakes? Do you search for a tale so wretched that the others will rear back in awe of your privation?
Throughout my career, I know I was prone to it. I took a twisted delight in being the earliest in, the latest out, having the most add-on patients, operating on free weekends, taking the most calls, sustaining the most nights without sleep, and generally being the most hurried and harried doc in the system.
Perhaps this “comparative suffering” is a harmless stress reliever. We know that debriefing our stressors and airing out negative and uncomfortable emotions helps dissipate them. But why do we seem to derive pleasure from engaging in these adversity competitions? Ultimately, might they be unhealthy for us? Might they frame our work as a hardship rather than a source of accomplishment, engagement, and fulfillment? Might they reward........