It may be confusing to be with a certain type of partner. They claim that they love you, but their actions say otherwise. Often, they act indifferent, insensitive, and annoyed, and then they accuse you of overreacting or remembering things incorrectly. This sort of partner may also do two things that signal narcissistic tendencies. First, they seem to derive satisfaction from hurting your feelings. Second, they frequently throw fits or “cause trouble” when you are happy and enjoying yourself.
Occasionally, a couple can have an intense fight. Saying harsh things in the heat of the moment is not great, but it is human. If each party feels remorse and sincerely apologizes for their words, it can be OK. However, when a partner spontaneously and frequently says hurtful things, and proudly defends these sentiments, it can be a red flag. In addition, if the partner appears to get a kick out of negatively impacting you, and then admonishes you for being upset, they may lack empathy.
For example, Ruth and Tim are at the mall. They walk past a beauty counter and Tim says to Ruth, “Hey, you need to check out the anti-aging cream.” He points to the fillers displayed in the window and says, “You should try those too.” Ruth is taken back, and she asks, “Do you think I look old?” Tim........