The world is uncertain—we only need to look at the news to see that. Stepping into this new year in particular invites us to cultivate a state of mind that is strong and resilient, able to roll with the punches—not one that is checked out, stressed out, or numbed out. But how?

Ironically, I learned about resilience during childbirth. Hear me out.

With my first child, I chose a natural birth without medication. The contractions were intensely painful. But the hardest part wasn’t the pain itself—it was what happened between contractions. During those brief pain-free pauses, instead of resting, I panicked. I dreaded the next contraction.

Psychologists call this anticipatory anxiety: fearing what’s about to come. And in childbirth, that fear makes sense—each contraction tends to be more painful than the last. I anticipated the worst. I felt sorry for myself, utterly alone, cursing like a sailor, crying, calling for my mom, and praying to every god I could think of.

I was a hot, delirious mess. For 17 hours.

Before giving birth to my second child, I learned self-hypnosis for natural childbirth. The contractions were just as painful, but something fundamental changed: my state of mind. Between each contraction, I was calm, not panicking. So calm that my husband slept through the night while I was laboring next to him (lucky duck!).

Why was I calm? I no longer dreaded what........

© Psychology Today