Marriage and Disconnection: Lessons From 'Is This Thing On?' |
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Marriage requires sustained work. We are socialized to imagine it as a lasting state of “happily ever after."
Some divorces may not need to happen.
It is easy to lose sight of the distinction between relational distress and individual stagnation.
While streaming Is This Thing On? on Hulu last night, I found myself wishing that Alex and Tess Novak were my therapy clients.
The film, starring Will Arnett and Laura Dern and directed by Bradley Cooper (who also plays Alex’s brother), opens with a matter-of-fact but consequential decision: the end of a 20-year marriage.
The separation unfolds with a kind of emotional flatness that is, at times, frustrating. Tess’ expression rarely shifts from brow-bending disappointment. Alex comes alive only in an unexpected new arena—stand-up comedy—where he begins to process the marriage and its demise in front of strangers rather than with his wife. The practicalities of their life together are oddly opaque. Alex is frequently dressed in a suit, Tess is a stay-at-home mother, yet Alex's professional life remains........