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Some narcissists can eventually develop emotional empathy during successful therapy for NPD.

Begin by assessing the narcissist’s current level of cognitive and emotional empathy and start work there.

Use exercises during therapy and after session homework to increase narcissists' use of cognitive empathy.

Emotional empathy may occur late in the therapy towards someone who admires and confides in the narcissist.

One of the biggest complaints I hear about people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), is they lack emotional empathy. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, this means that you are likely to be shocked by how entirely self-centered your partner is and how little he or she notices or cares about any pain they cause you.

Narcissists Can Become More Empathic

All narcissists can increase their ability to use cognitive empathy. Some narcissists can then go on to develop emotional empathy. I have seen it happen in the same way under similar conditions:

The narcissist had been practicing their cognitive empathy under the therapist’s guidance.

They were a few years into successful psychotherapy and their understanding of themselves had increased.

They wanted to feel emotional empathy for other people.

The person they were empathizing with had the following characteristics:

He or she was of lower status than the narcissist.

The person admired and looked up to the narcissist.

The person was no threat or competition.

The person was undergoing or had undergone almost an identical traumatic situation that my narcissistic client had experienced in the past.

There were no barriers to empathizing.

Note: I am using the terms narcissist and NPD as shorthand for someone who qualifies for a full diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.

Example: Barry and His Brother’s Beatings

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