Many of my clients enter therapy because their spouse or their boss has told them they are too controlling and that they need to rethink their approach to people. If this is happening to you, you may wonder if they are right or they are just being too sensitive or critical.

Often the people who come to me with these issues are only acting in the way that was normal in the household in which they were raised. If this is your situation, It happened this way so often that you unconsciously internalized it as the right way to be. Unfortunately, the reality is you probably copied a poor model and one or both of your parents were more controlling than normal.

Now, people who are not from your family, and are on the receiving end of your constant flow of criticism, advice, and demands, find being around you unpleasant. Your comments make many people uncomfortable.

Until now, you have dismissed them as not understanding that you just value efficiency or getting things right and were offering useful information. But now something more serious is at stake because you are at least willing to consider that there might be some truth to........

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