Parenting Your Child So They Will Talk With You |
Often, parents tell us about their frustration and worry when their child doesn’t open up to them about what they are thinking and feeling. Maybe you have a child who answers monosyllabically to questions about their day, how they are doing or what they are feeling. Even if a child seems relatively happy, that can lead any parent to be concerned that there is a problem — or else why would they be evasive? On the other hand, our teen patients tell us about how they try to avoid long car rides with their parents because it is inevitably seen by the parent as an opportunity to ask a lot of questions. After all, their parent has them as a captive audience, and conversation can happen without eye contact that would intensify the discussion. Perhaps your child reaches for their earbuds as soon as they buckle up to pre-empt any dialogue.
Sometimes there is cause for concern. But many children don’t reveal what is going on within them for other reasons. It is a way to establish separation and independence from you. Or they think you will not like what they have to say and might get angry and enforce some consequences. Or perhaps they cherish their privacy because they have a