'Tis the season for joy and family togetherness, but for high school seniors, it is also the season to sweat over college applications. While the family is gorging on cookies during another viewing of Die Hard, the compromise Christmas movie, the teens are counting their extracurriculars and polishing their personal essays, aiming for that reach school on their list. And they receive a lot of help, typically, from their school counselors, older siblings, and you, their parents. But often neglected is an essential question: Are they emotionally and socially ready to leave home? As they make this life-changing decision, here are some questions to consider:

Emotional Regulation. Can your teen moderate their highs and lows? Can they bounce back from disappointment and heartache without going into a crisis? Can they recognize their need to reach out and talk to someone? How well are they able to regulate and control their emotions so that they don't spin out of control? Certainly, babies and toddlers lack that capacity and look to their caregivers. As they grow, however, their brains develop that ability. Better emotional regulation is one of the hallmarks of emotional maturity. You can be sure that in the college years, there will be disappointment and heartbreak. Can they navigate that on their own?

Frustration Tolerance. An aspect of emotional regulation, this tolerance deserves some space on its own, because the ability to tolerate frustration has decreased over the past few decades in our culture, along with the rise of internet and cell phone use, especially among young people who have grown up in a culture that lacks attention span. Their "muscle" for........

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