What Does "Self Help" Mean?

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List-making can offer a variety of benefits.

When we cross something off a list, we enjoy a little dopamine hit of satisfaction.

Check the evidence, then create lists that work in your favor.

Listing is trending, and has been for a while (like, maybe since the advent of pen and papyrus?). Every time we cross or check something off, we enjoy a little dopamine hit of satisfaction. Some even say if you write it down, you’ll “manifest” it. I don’t disagree, and we’ll get to that, but here’s a known list of list-y benefits:

Writing things down, digitally or by hand, helps us focus, think, and reflect on our wants and needs.

Taking time to write out what we want to do, plan, or create helps us commit our desires to memory.

Lists can decrease anxiety. There’s a well-known cognitive behavioral technique, “Worry Time.” This is how it works: whenever you notice a worry, write it down. Tell yourself you can’t worry about it until Worry Time, and go on to something else. Then, once daily, give yourself 10 or 15 minutes (Worry Time) to review your list. You’ll be amazed how often anxieties lose their anxious charge just by putting them off until this appointed time.

Lists help with insomnia, too. Keep a list by your bed. When you wake ruminating with worry, write down your issue, then roll over and go back to sleep, knowing you can handle anything better in the light of day.

Practice letting go. Lists help us remember and let us forget. Keep a daily or weekly list, a monthly list, and/or a longer-term yearly (or longer) list. Weekly lists help keep track of appointments in need of scheduling, people to reach out to, study time, leisure pursuits, social events, etc. Your monthly list can be a bit aspirational—research and find that new yoga class, finish a book, start a project coming due, plan a holiday or birthday. When it’s not time to write or review your list, let it go, knowing it’ll be there when you need it.

Longer-term lists help too. Research shows goals are accomplished significantly more successfully if we write them down. I’m not talking magical “manifestation” here. Any goal, short- or long-term, when written, manifests something: it’s no longer just in your head. It has physical presence in the world on paper or screen, and you’re nearly 50% more likely to accomplish it.

Lists can’t do it all. I’ve seen people with severe OCD who use lists as a constant and anxiety-seeking compulsion. And others who use lists as a way to beat themselves up for inaction or procrastination. They write a lengthy daily, weekly, or what-have-you list, then torment themselves about how little they’ve accomplished. Like any other well-being or self-care tool, lists can be used to your disadvantage. Instead, use them with self-compassion (you can even add self-compassion ideas to your list). Here’s how to begin:

Start slowly. Tell yourself you need only accomplish one or two things on your list to make it a positive day, week, or what have you. One or two items done? That’s a win. Roll over the rest to your next list.

Be concrete. “I want to be happy” is much less actionable to your brain and body than “Enjoy a funny movie,” “Go out with friends once a week,” or “Find a great therapist.” Making items specific increases the likelihood of getting them done.

Read short-term lists frequently. Review daily and weekly lists each day if you can. Reminding yourself what’s important to you reinforces your goals—and your ability to achieve them.

Read monthly or long-term lists frequently, too. You might be amazed how lists change—some things become more important and detailed, perhaps earning their own, new list; others suddenly lose their charge and can be deleted; and many are accomplished, seemingly while you were barely looking.

Listing offers a quiet ritual to reflect and prioritize, even for a minute or two most days. This focus clarifies what’s important to you and—perhaps even more critically—what’s not. Write it down, let it go, and know as you review it, you’ll refine and flex to offer fodder long into the future. It’s all good.

What Does "Self Help" Mean?

Take our Self-Esteem Test

Find a therapist near me

Gardner, Sarah and Albee, Dave, "Study focuses on strategies for achieving goals, resolutions" (2015). Press Releases. 266. https://scholar.dominican.edu/news-releases/266

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