As a frequent speaker at conferences and retreats, I am used to having a photographer in the room taking pictures.

And for many years, I was also used to making this quip when my photo was being snapped:

“I’m glad I put on my Spanx,” referring to the restrictive undergarment that aims to smooth out your body under your clothes.

Until one day after my keynote speech, a woman came up to me and asked if she could give me a piece of feedback. “Of course,” I said, considering that the topic I had just addressed was how to take feedback without defensiveness.

“You’ve commented about your body more than once. It makes you seem insecure, and it doesn’t belong in a professional presentation.”

That feedback hit me hard, especially because she was right on both fronts. First, I was indeed insecure about my weight, as someone who has cycled up and down her whole life. I recognize that I was using a technique I had developed from being bullied as a child about my weight – making fun of myself before someone else could. And second, talking about my body – or anyone else’s body – was not appropriate for work.

Feeling bad about our appearance isn’t an anomaly. Research shows that 34% of adults said they felt anxious and 35% said they felt depressed because of their body image. One in eight experienced suicidal thoughts or feelings because of concerns about their body image.

While both men and women had these challenges, women experienced these emotions more frequently. In fact, 17% of women said they would not go to a job interview, and 8% would avoid going to work, if they felt badly about their appearance.

Furthermore, while thinking about our bodies negatively can contribute to anxiety and self-consciousness, talking about our bodies and........

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