What Changes During Adolescence?

Find a therapist to support kids and teens

Teens may escalate situations and lash out to try and get what they want.

Parents may become emotionally reactive themselves and escalate the situation further.

Steps can be taken to work on de-escalating the situation.

Are you having trouble communicating with your teen? As you undoubtedly know, teens can be combative, argumentative, unreasonable, arrogant, and emotionally out of control—sometimes all at once. When a teenager gets upset and becomes emotionally reactive, it’s usually not going to turn out well. While difficult interactions at times are normal, there are things we can do to hopefully make them better.

First of all, it’s important for all parents to understand that teenagers are still figuring things out. They most likely don’t have everything together. That means they may want responsibilities or privileges they’re not yet ready to manage. That means they may fight tooth and nail to get something that's not in their best interest. Parents tend to know when their child is asking for more responsibility than they’re ready to handle. Unfortunately, when parents assert their authority in these situations and say “no,” it can start World War III in the household.

Once the teenager feels the parent is in the way of them getting what they want, the teen often starts to become emotionally activated. First, the teen gets upset and starts getting louder. When this doesn’t sway the parent, then the teen might resort to whining (“Come on, I really want to do this, my life will be ruined if you don’t say........

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