Handling Regrets Mindfully and Usefully |
Regret is the point-down inner critic’s favorite sport. Regret is lamenting about past choices that we now consider to have been mistakes. Since the past can't be wiped out, neither can regrets about it. Our work is not to get rid of regrets but to handle them mindfully and usefully.
We can begin by realizing that what happened in the past does not have to be taken as the whole picture. Regrets serve to keep us stuck because the inner critic mutters, “You have made so many mistakes because you are inadequate and unskilled. You are too messed up to work anything out or try something new.” This is, of course, the voice of fear, the king of all regrets. Once we accept the given that we all make mistakes, fail to act, and impulsively and unwisely choose, regret is no longer about shame. It is about saying yes to our human........