Repeated exposure to certain types of childhood trauma can result in the inability to experience pleasure (anhedonia) as adults. This manifests as these adults creating circumstances that should make them happy and then simultaneously experiencing anxiety or sadness. This causes a partial or complete loss of the ability to experience happiness or joy when good things happen. Recovering from this type of childhood trauma requires taking back the ability to enjoy the gifts and successes that life offers.

Healthy parents experience joy vicariously when their child experiences joy. They empathize with their child. Healthy parents feel successful when their child celebrates achievement. As adults, these children seek whatever makes them happy and then revel in the joy of fulfillment of their quest.

Unhealthy parents, such as those with borderline, narcissistic, or other personality disorders, have weak or no empathy. This prevents them from experiencing their children’s happiness and joy vicariously. As a result, they often become jealous of their child’s happiness and joy and become competitive with the child.

Because the parent has the greater power in this relationship, they almost always win. When this is done consistently to a child throughout childhood, the child comes to expect that their happiness and joy will be taken away from them. This very quickly darkens most or all of their experiences of happiness and joy. Here are a few typical........

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