What My Recovery Has Taught Me About Seasonal Depression |
Walking home from work yesterday, it was cold and dark at 5 pm. My house was bedecked with a Christmas tree in the window, and I paused to look at it, at the glowing lights and the front door with garlands. It looked so lovely.
And I thought, "I am depressed again."
I'm Dana, and I'm an alcoholic, and I struggle with depression. I drank because I was depressed. And I was depressed because I was drinking. This lovely dance went on for a long time, until I got sober more than a decade ago.
Depression still exists in my life, and I have come to realize that there are seasonal triggers that exacerbate it. I try to prepare, but depression likes to blanket preparedness and healthy perspectives in a mind-numbing sort of dread. It's hard to think straight with dread. Dread is pretty powerful stuff.
I entered the house, to the frenzied greetings of my two dogs, and sat on the couch. The dogs were thrilled, but I was glum. Our huge Christmas tree was cheerful and glowing, and the house was quiet and decorated within an inch........