Listening Just Isn't Enough |
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Humans have an innate need to be understood.
Listening isn't enough; we need to be humble and curious to aim for understanding.
Instead of waiting for others to understand us, we should start by trying to understand others.
Valerie Cherish is Lisa Kudrow’s lovably self-centered protagonist on The Comeback. Throughout the show, she demands to be heard, with varying degrees of success.
I think we can all relate to Valerie, even if just a little. When we speak, we want people to listen.
But what Valerie is begging for isn’t simply to be listened to; she wants to be understood. And the distinction matters.
There’s a growing self-help industry promising to help you become a better listener. Most people already think they are good listeners, and yet, most people report that others don’t listen well enough to them. That’s a disconnect worth pondering. Perhaps spending all this time trying to get people to listen hasn’t been time well spent. Sorry, Valerie.
Listening Versus Understanding
Clinical psychologist and assistant........