Understanding Sexual Orientation

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Research has linked internalized homophobia with greater psychological distress among sexual minority men.

Internalized homophobia can affect gay men even when they consciously reject homophobic beliefs.

Like skin, our defenses protect us until we eventually outgrow them.

When I was beginning my training to become a therapist, I asked a mentor of mine why he became a therapist.

In his beautiful, sanctuary-like office in the heart of West Hollywood, he looked at me and pointed out the window toward the Pacific Design Center, near the epicenter of gay bars, and said, "Because out there is bullshit, in here is the truth.”

I knew exactly what he meant because I had spent years living the BS myself.

For 11 years, I worked at one of the busiest and most popular gay bars in West Hollywood. It wasn't uncommon to see high-powered Hollywood professionals—including agents of some of the most well-known celebrities—partying late into the night, making out with men, and then returning to lives where being gay was compartmentalized enough it never crossed over into their public or professional identities.

Less than five minutes away, just down the street, was the national headquarters of The Trevor Project—a suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ youth. It is an entire organization dedicated to supporting young people who feel like they can't be themselves—who've been taught, explicitly or implicitly, that who they are is........

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