Marriage 911: Don't Ignore Verbal Abuse! |
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Verbal abuse may be quietly destroying your relationship (even if you’re not yelling).
The root cause of ugly arguments (or deadly silent treatment) is emotional flooding.
Communication is how couples build or erode emotional safety and connection.
Relationships don't collapse overnight; in fact, slowly growing apart is a main cause of divorce.
“Dr. Cheryl… my partner gets really nasty when we argue. Can you help?”
If that question hits close to home, you’re not alone. Many couples don’t think they have a “verbal abuse” problem. Because they’re not screaming. They’re not calling each other horrible names. Of course, for other couples, the screaming and name-calling are happening.
But here’s the unpleasant truth… Verbal abuse takes many forms. Whether your unkind words are a whisper or a scream, all of them cause harm. Verbal abuse can destroy your relationship, even if you’re not yelling. Subtle nastiness also creates wounds.
It’s Not Just Yelling: The Hidden Forms of Verbal Abuse
When people hear “verbal abuse,” they think of the obvious:
Threats like “I’m done” or “I want a divorce”
These overtly nasty words or threats to end the relationships are certainly damaging. I often think of that old schoolyard chant: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” Wow, is that ever wrong! Broken bones heal (just ask my right ankle—I’ve fractured it four times!), but word wounds can leave psychological scars that linger.
Today I also want to draw your attention to the quieter, more subtle forms of verbal abuse that can wound your partner and your relationship.
Constant criticism or “helpful”........