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Drinking is involved in a third of traffic deaths and four in ten violent crimes, yet we still call it social.

Addiction prevention fails when we look down the street instead of at our own first encounter.

Most people meet their first "drug dealer" at home: the parent who normalizes alcohol at the dinner table.

I want to walk you through four situations I have encountered in classrooms and workplaces, and through observing people across the many countries I have lived and worked in (so far 11). Ask yourself whether you recognize the pattern.

Case One: The Meeting

In one workplace, I noticed something that stunned me every single time: You could arrive late, I mean really late, to a meeting, an oral exam, even a job interview, and all you needed to say was, "I had one too many last night." Almost everyone in the room would laugh, and your offense would not merely be forgiven but erased. Compare that with a colleague who arrives at the same meeting equally late but says nothing at all. That person is judged in a way the one who confessed to intoxication is not.

What does it mean when a confession of intoxication works as a social lubricant rather than a red flag?

Case Two: The Lecture

I am standing in a large lecture theatre, teaching on addiction. I ask my students, At what age did you meet the first drug dealer in your life?

Answers are offered: 14, 16 —and........

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