Later-life divorce, also known as gray divorce, has been growing among couples aged 50 and older since 1990 in the U.S. and other industrialized countries. This significant societal shift creates far-reaching challenges, and not only for the divorcing parents. While there has been considerable focus on the impact of divorce on young children, adult children of divorcing parents face unique hurdles. They may grapple with shifting family dynamics, feelings of betrayal, and concerns about their parents' well-being.
As a warm June morning dawned in Southern California, a message arrived on my office voicemail. The male voice sounded tense and distressed, emblematic of the pain he would later describe to me. "Dr. Hughes, my name is Alex. I've been reading your articles on Psychology Today about how gray divorce affects adult children. They echo my life themes after my parents divorced. I'm a mess. Could we schedule an appointment?"
The warm sunlight beamed through my office window behind Alex's head like a halo. As he talked, I thought, "How appropriate! What an angel this young man has been for his family!"
Alex: A while ago, I was searching online for information about how your parents' divorce affects you when it happens when you're an adult. There isn't much out there about that. Anyhow, after reading your articles at Psychology Today, I didn't feel so alone and realized I was not crazy. That was a big relief. But I still feel so sad and unsettled, like something is gnawing at me."
Carol: That gnawing feeling isn't unusual, Alex. Our inner voice often communicates through our........