It comes with the parenting territory: the instinct to shield one’s child from harm. The world is a dangerous place, and innocent children need to be warned away from what can hurt them: “Don’t play with fire because flame can burn.”
Adolescent dangers
And the dangers don’t diminish as the child grows older. Consider eight dire risks in adolescence that can victimize young people, risks about which parents justifiably feel afraid and which young people need to be wary of.
1. Social violence,
2. Accidental injury,
3. School failure,
4. Illegal activities,
5. Sexual misadventures,
6. Daring behavior,
7. Suicidal despondency,
8. Alcohol and other drug use.
(Eliminate the last of these risks and parents may dramatically reduce the incidence of the other seven. This is why a sober passage through adolescence can be safest of all.)
In general, parents have two ways to help their teenager cope with foreseen dangers—by offering protection and by providing preparation. Each has its strengths and limitations. Consider protection first.
Protection
Because protection is against possible dangers, it can arouse anxiety. It’s complicated. There is a built-in dilemma that comes with providing protection, whether sheltering or safeguarding. Not only does protection impose limits on experience and prevent much there is to learn, it can increase a sense of jeopardy.
Consider a 10-year-old’s frightened response to a neighborhood break-in. “This could........