It can be extremely difficult to admit that you have been abusive to your partner and/or your children.

It can also feel overwhelming and even hopeless to think you can change your abusive behavior.

You may not be ready to begin therapy but that doesn't mean there aren't things you can do to begin to change.

There are action steps you can take to help you begin to change your abusive behavior.

This is the fourth in a series about identifying and eliminating abusive behavior.

It’s not easy to face the fact that you have become abusive toward your partner and/or your children. The shame you feel when you admit this can be overwhelming. While it may feel like an impossible task to stop this behavior, it is, in fact, achievable. But it will take a conscious effort on your part, brutal honesty and patience. I am going to offer you seven steps to help you decrease or eliminate abusive behavior but because space is limited I will divide the steps into two sections: Steps 1-3 in this blog and 4-7 in a follow-up blog.

1. Identifying the Possible Roots of Your Own Behavior

It is vital that you come to understand why you have adopted the behaviors and beliefs that led you to becoming abusive. This is not to provide you with an excuse for your unacceptable behavior, but to help you understand yourself. This will, in turn, hopefully help you to come out of denial, face the truth about your childhood, stop making excuses for your behavior or blaming your partner and/or your children for the way you treat them.

There is no such thing as being born a “bad seed.” And while there are a few genetic causes for abusive or explosive behavior, this is rare. The overwhelming........

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