“Good fences make good neighbors,” wrote the poet Robert Frost, meaning there’s less room for conflict when everyone knows where the boundaries are. That’s especially true for those of us who love a person with a substance use disorder.

Boundaries are physical and emotional limits we set to let others know how to treat us. They’re lines we won’t allow others to cross, designed to protect our well-being.

When our boundaries are clear, we refuse to accept abusive or manipulative behavior. We confirm that we have value and that our needs are just as important as other people’s.

But boundaries go even deeper than that. They limit the behaviors we’ll accept from ourselves. We can say “no” to things that make us uncomfortable. We become clear about what we will and won’t do. In a real sense, boundaries help us define and express who we are.

Paradoxically, although boundaries involve setting limits, they’re one of the surest paths to personal freedom. To see why, consider these five unexpected ways that setting (and keeping) boundaries can set you free.

1. When you set boundaries, you’re free to live your own life. Confusion is often the result when someone you........

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