Life involves loss, whether the death of a loved one, the loss of a cherished job, the end of a relationship, or the loss of an ongoing identity such as suddenly facing retirement without a plan. It is natural that each of these experiences involves a certain degree of grief, associated with sadness. It may also entail anxiety, various intensities of anger, and even depression, both acute or more long-term in duration.

The intensity and nature of your reactions to such loss very much varies based on the psychological lens through which you view grief and suffering in general. By psychological lens, I mean the perspective you have regarding suffering and the attitudes that inform your internal editorializing regarding suffering and grief.

Take a moment to ask yourself, “What are my attitudes toward grief?”

For example, you may maintain rigid expectations about life and how things “should be."

The more rigidly you hold onto your expectations, the more suffering you will endure when faced with any form of loss—whereas having the flexibility to lighten your grasp on or even let go of certain expectations can reduce your........

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