Having a high degree of emotional intelligence is associated with general well-being, mental health, and effective coping with life challenges. So, it makes perfect sense that couples with high emotional intelligence report greater marital satisfaction, fewer conflicts, and even a greater commitment to the relationship (Jardine, Vannier, & Voyer, 2022).

Emotional intelligence entails the following abilities:

We may be strong or weak across all categories or have greater variation in our capacities for each skill set. Additionally, we may exhibit different levels of emotional intelligence in different contexts. For example, we may be self-motivating at work but not in our intimate relationship. Similarly, we may be able to self-regulate when facing certain kinds of challenges but fail to do so when confronting other challenges. I’ve had many clients report greater self-regulation when they are single than when they are in a challenging relationship.

Self-awareness of our internal emotional landscape informs our attitudes and behaviors in every aspect of our lives. It helps us to identify our desires, form goals, and even define boundaries in a relationship. Lacking such awareness, we may engage in ways that contribute to our feeling isolated and less satisfied. Consequently, without such awareness, we may unwittingly relate with a loved one in ways that are nonconstructive, perhaps simply mirroring our earlier problematic ways of being in a relationship.

In many relationships, one partner may have greater emotional intelligence than the other. That partner may struggle to guess how the other feels. They may feel........

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