What Is Conscientiousness?

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Conscientiousness is a trait that generally helps people to be successful.

Despite its advantages, extreme forms of conscientiousness can lead to to anxiety, self-doubt, and burnout.

Conscientious people benefit from turning toward uncertainty and emotion while letting go of problem-solving.

The challenge for conscientious people is not to lower standards but to increase flexibility and balance.

Some of the most anxious people I see in my psychotherapy practice are also among the most capable and responsible. They are hardworking, and they hold themselves to high standards. In other words, they are very good at being "good."

Conscientiousness, the personality trait characterized by self-control, responsibility, hard work, and orderliness, is generally advantageous. Conscientious people tend to do better at work, maintain healthier relationships, and even live longer, in part, because they follow medical advice and take care of themselves.1 Conscientiousness is, understandably, a trait we try to cultivate in ourselves and our children.

However, there can be too much of a good thing. Intense self-control contributes to anxiety and inhibition. A strong drive for orderliness can lead to obsessive control of one's environment. The pursuit of excellence can become perfectionism and lead to burnout.2 Conscientiousness, in its extreme forms, can wear people down and quietly narrow their lives.

Conscientiousness is not, in itself, a moral virtue. It is a personality trait that describes (rather than prescribes) a spectrum of inherited tendencies and environmental influences.3 The less conscientious person has real strengths too: Their spontaneity and appetite for risk can be genuinely adaptive for themselves and for the groups they belong to.4 In modern life, conscientiousness is rewarded so powerfully that its costs tend to go unexamined.

In my psychotherapy practice, I often see the downside of the intense effort to be good. Extremely conscientious people often struggle with a pervasive sense of guilt about falling short of their obligations to others and their expectations for themselves. Their need for order and control fuels anxiety, and their intolerance of uncertainty can paralyze decision-making. Their close relationships can also suffer when their avoidance of conflict and difficult emotions keeps others at a distance.

The problem with always trying harder

When these strains on the conscientious person bring them into therapy, their first instinct is often to try harder, seeing therapy as a new way to address their deficits. When confronted with the possibility........

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