They sound calm. Measured. Thoughtful. In control. They speak clearly, don’t raise their voice, and rarely appear overwhelmed.

In Western settings, this often reads as emotional stability—or even emotional maturity. But for many people in the Asian diaspora and other collectivistic cultures, this calm exterior often carries a very different meaning.

It can mask significant internal strain.

In many collectivistic cultures, emotion is not experienced as purely personal. It is relational.

Collectivistic cultures emphasise interdependence, social harmony, and the primacy of group well-being over individual autonomy. People tend to define themselves through relationships, roles, and obligations, and regulate their emotions in ways that maintain cohesion and respect within the in-group. Emotional expression is often moderated to preserve dignity, avoid burdening others, and protect relational stability.

From a young age, people may learn—often........

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