So often, I am asked by twins who read my research and thoughts on twin estrangement,

“Will my twin and I ever be able to get along? We haven't spoken for four months, and I miss talking to her. My girlfriend, who is a twin, has not spoken to her own sister in a year. I don’t want to prolong our anger at each other. But I am afraid we will have another huge mean-spirited and humiliating fight. I don’t know what to do. Is our relationship more common than I was led to believe? Most people who ask us questions think that all twins get along. We tell people who ask that we do not have a close relationship, and most people look at us as if we are weird.”

In my personal and consulting experiences, I have heard and observed that a twin can be a special soulmate who can read your thoughts and feelings and support your dreams. But there is another side to this myth that I support and endorse. Being a twin is really emotionally challenging.

In other words, getting along with your twin sister or brother after serious arguments is no easy feat. Authentic closeness requires a lot of work. Competition and comparisons between twins are far too common and seriously trigger fighting and unhappiness, which can lead to estrangement. Learning to talk about ways that twins can communicate and work through fighting is the first option to ending resentment and trying to establish a peaceful relationship.

Still, there is no one answer to why getting along with your twin, which includes sharing, is such a huge problem because every set of twins has a unique relationship that is hard to disentangle. Words, thoughts, and feelings are exchanged rapidly and create anger and confusion. Which twin responds correctly to........

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