In What Ways Are Heterosexual Relationships Set Up to Fail?

The more things change, the saying goes, the more they stay the same. Despite significant shifts in socialization and newer ways of approaching how children are raised in regard to their gender identity, stereotypical notions of both masculinity and femininity remain entrenched in our pop cultural landscape. This indoctrination process has important implications for how individuals develop psychologically and is demonstrated in stark form when individuals embark on romantic relationships.

In particular, the damaging ways that both men and women are socialized regarding their respective gender identity pose significant risk factors for heterosexual couples, who are most likely to mirror and internalize traditional notions of gender. This is a particularly timely topic to consider given that researchers have identified that “relationship satisfaction in U.S.-based couples has been significantly negatively impacted over the course of the pandemic” (as reported by the APA, 2024). Moreover, understanding how socialization processes and cultural values impact behaviors of individuals when they couple up has important consequences for overall psychological, emotional, and physical well-being.

There is a plethora of literature that is both accessible and illuminating for individuals who are interested in better understanding how the way they have been socialized has impacted both the values that they have internalized and the relational processes they may be unconsciously carrying over into their romantic attachments. Oftentimes, the attachment literature is overemphasized in this realm—at least in popular psychology—however, there are other ways, more subtle and less obvious, that cultural indoctrination impacts the roles that individuals adopt when embarking on a romantic........

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