Understanding Loneliness

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Core beliefs about the world influence why loneliness persists despite social contact.

Negative worldviews limit meaningful social connection and reinforce isolation.

Therapy and positive social experiences can reshape beliefs and ease chronic loneliness.

A recent study published in the Journal of Personality by Lemay Jr. and colleagues at the University of Maryland reveals something surprising: Your core beliefs about the world could be a key reason why your social interactions feel unfulfilling and why chronic loneliness persists.

What Is Chronic Loneliness? What Causes It?

Loneliness is more than just being alone and socially isolated. It is a painful, subjective experience that arises when your social world feels insufficient—too few friends, not enough interaction, relationships that leave you feeling disconnected and dissatisfied, etc.

Loneliness is associated with a range of mental and physical health issues, including depression, physical pain, shame, sleep disturbances, and increased vulnerability to illnesses like the flu.

It is ironic that loneliness separates us even as it binds us together in a shared human condition; in the United States, one in three people experiences it.

Loneliness has many causes, but in this post, I focus on one powerful and often hidden factor: your beliefs about the world.

As explored below, chronic loneliness can reshape how we see the world and interpret others’ actions, deepening our sense of disconnection and isolation.

How World Beliefs Influence Loneliness

When people experience chronic loneliness, their minds often shift into self-protection mode. They become more vigilant, more cautious, and more likely to withdraw from others.

This defensiveness shapes their core beliefs, making the world seem bad, unsafe, random, cold, mechanical, and meaningless.

But avoiding connection also means missing out on the very kinds of positive social experiences that could disconfirm those perceptions.

When you have supportive relationships, you are more likely to:

Receive validation and care

Be encouraged to pursue interests and goals

These types of interactions play a key role in overcoming loneliness and rebuilding a sense of social connection.

The Psychology of Loneliness and Belief

Lemay Jr. et al. suggest our assumptions (i.e., world beliefs) may “serve as cognitive mechanisms that partially explain why loneliness is associated with unfulfilling social experiences that foster continued loneliness.” They hypothesize: “Lonely people believe that the world is less Safe, Enticing [worth exploring], Alive [purposeful and interactive, as opposed to mechanical], and Good.”

So, perceiving the world this way may contribute to why lonely individuals are less likely to engage in sufficient and satisfying social interactions.

Let’s take a closer look at how they tested this hypothesis.

Participants: 236 romantic couples; 73 percent white; 81 percent heterosexual/straight; 93 percent mixed-sex couples; most dating (37 percent) or married (53 percent); average age of 36 years.

Understanding Loneliness

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Methods: Participants completed a baseline questionnaire, reported on their daily interactions for two weeks, and did a follow-up a year later.

Baseline measures assessed world beliefs (Primals Inventory), loneliness (UCLA Loneliness Scale), self-esteem (Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale), and feelings of anxiety and depression (frequency of dysphoric and anxious states). The daily measures included questions assessing interaction quality.

Key findings: Lonely participants saw the world as less enticing and less good, as “threatening and lacking in rewarding stimuli—boring, ugly, devoid of meaning, deficient in opportunities and resources, and not worth exploring.”

These negative beliefs predicted fewer and less fulfilling social interactions.

The researchers concluded that while lonely people’s “tendency to see the world as dangerous may motivate them to maintain close social connections that may protect them from perceived threats,” this same tendency also explains “why they have fewer and less enjoyable social interactions, which contributes to the stability of their loneliness over time.”

Are Your World Beliefs Keeping You Lonely?

For those readers who wonder if their core beliefs are making them feel lonely, here are some positive and negative examples of “primal world beliefs,” which are core beliefs about the world’s overall nature. Which ones do you relate to?

Danger lurks everywhere.

There is much to explore and learn.

Life is dull and boring.

We find beauty everywhere.

The world is unfair, and we never get what we deserve.

Everything is pointless and meaningless.

Life offers more pleasure than pain.

The world does not need me or my efforts.

Whatever happens is meant to happen and according to a broader purpose.

No matter who you are or what your situation is, you can significantly improve your life.

Life is a merciless contest and competition for survival at any price.

Consider how these beliefs might shape your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

If you assume the world is dangerous, for instance, you are more likely to interpret social situations through that lens. This can create a vicious cycle: You avoid interaction, feel even more disconnected, and your negative beliefs are further reinforced.

How to Break the Cycle of Loneliness

So, one way to overcome loneliness is by challenging core beliefs.

If you are struggling with chronic loneliness, ask yourself what core beliefs about the world might be holding you back.

Here are two science-backed ways to do that:

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT): Therapy, especially CBT, helps identify and challenge maladaptive beliefs (including negative beliefs about the world) and break the pattern of social withdrawal.

Positive social experiences: Change also happens through experience: Gradually building new friendships (at your own pace) allows you to form new, more positive expectations. When people respond kindly, support you, or celebrate your wins, your worldview can begin to shift.

Over time, you may start to see a different reality: one that feels safer, more alive and connected, a world that needs you and has something meaningful to offer in return.

Loneliness isn’t just about social isolation. No, it’s also about your beliefs and inner model of the world. If you believe the world is unsafe, cold, or meaningless, you may unknowingly pull back from others or struggle to feel truly connected.

But those assumptions are not set in stone. This is where therapy can help.

By shifting your primal world beliefs and actively seeking positive social experiences, it’s possible to gradually overcome loneliness and reconnect with supportive and caring others.

© Psychology Today