In my 13 years as a therapist, I’ve heard iterations of two questions hundreds of times: "What even is trauma?" and "How do I know if mine 'counts?'"

I’ll never tire of answering these questions — whether for my therapy clients or here with you.

I’ll never tire of it because they were two dominant questions I wondered for years, too.

So I answer my clients and I share this information online because they’re the answers I would have so desperately wanted to hear when I was 15 years old.

Let’s begin with a high-level overview of what trauma is and isn’t. This may feel redundant and obvious, but I still want to ground us in this 30,000-foot view and reiterate what you may already know so that this information and everything else I share in this post is firmly cemented. The more you understand the basics of it — not to mention the more you know about relational trauma specifically — the more easily you can see yourself and your life story more clearly and be equipped to seek out the right kind of support.

So, again, what defines trauma?

I want to share a quote from one of my favorite trauma clinicians, Karen........

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