Are You in a One-Sided Relationship? |
Not all unhealthy relationships will look inherently unhealthy at first glance. In fact, many one-sided relationships actually start out with intensity, chemistry, and the belief that you finally found someone who has chosen you. This can feel hypnotic or intoxicating, especially if you have a history of dysfunctional romantic relationships or childhood abuse.
The reality is that yes, you may have been chosen. However, if you are in a one-sided relationship, then being “chosen” may not be what you had hoped.
One-sided relationships happen when one partner is doing most of the heavy lifting when it comes to emotional, physical, financial, or relational investment, while the other partner may be more controlling, aloof, or dismissive. Over time, you may notice that something starts to feel off in the relationship, such as feeling emotionally neglected, overextended, or only visible to your partner during sex, or when it is convenient for them.
A hallmark of a one-sided relationship is that it is not mutual, but functional. Thus, you serve a function to your partner, such as stabilizing their inner chaotic world, preventing them from being alone (and reinforcing a pattern of escape/avoidance in them), or propping up their sense of self, instead of sharing an interconnected emotional life. One-sided relationships are especially common with narcissistic partners, because the relationship tends to be organized around ego-regulation and avoidance rather than mutual emotional reciprocity and intimacy.1-3
Here are four signs you may be functioning more to fill your partner’s need for validation than experiencing a reciprocal bond.
1. The Relationship Feels Superficial
One-sided relationships may become serious fast or feel especially passionate and intense. A common type of one-sided relationship is the rebound relationship, where a partner is sought and used to prevent........