We live in a society in which parenting has most recently taken on a bent toward perfectionism. For so many centuries, children were only useful. They were to be part of a family survival effort. They were often abused as a method of discipline, and their emotional needs were ignored. Slowly, however, over the last century, that has begun to shift.

Yes, there is still abuse—emotional, physical, sexual, and spiritual—and neglect of all manner. But there is also, in families where there is a focus on parenting well, a tendency toward perfectionism.

The so-called “Mommy-wars” take a front seat when it comes to a comparative look at how others are parenting. There has been a great deal of criticism coming from friends and relatives who, rather than being supportive, are using a usually unrealistic yardstick to measure the parenting styles of other parents.

Then we also have “Mom-guilt,” which seems to indicate, first, that only the mother can feel tremendous guilt about a mistake or accident had while tending to their children. We don’t hear as much, even today, about “Dad-guilt,” though that is certainly a reality of parenting. Parents tend to feel a great deal of unrealistic guilt regarding accidents that could not be prevented or mistakes that they have made, even very normal and understandable mistakes made on down........

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