A strong relationship is tough to create—and tougher to maintain—in modern society. From smartphones that work hard to attract your attention to pop culture that tries to convince you unhealthy relationships are normal, staying in love essentially means beating the odds.
But that doesn’t mean people are giving up on love. In 2023, I surveyed more than 1,000 married individuals in the United States for my book, 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do. Eighty-six percent of people said they want to strengthen their relationship.
While I’m thrilled so many people are invested in creating a stronger relationship, I’m not surprised that so many people aren’t feeling like their relationship is as strong as it could be. Here’s why it’s so tough to keep a strong relationship in today’s world.
Multiple apps are vying for your attention, showing you pictures of attractive people, and working hard to distract you from your partner. And research shows that in many relationships, social media is winning the battle.
A study published in Computers in Human Behavior found a link between social media use and decreased marriage quality in every model analyzed. Researchers concluded that people who use social media are 11 percent less happy in their marriages.
You might think you’re being romantic by turning on some music while you’re eating dinner. But there’s a good chance that whatever song you’re playing includes lyrics about unhealthy relationship behavior.
While songs about romantic relationships are nothing new (the word love has remained the most popular word in songs since the 1950s), a 2022 study published in the Psychology of Music revealed that 86 percent of popular present-day songs about relationships depict insecure attachments. That means singers are objectifying their partners, normalizing jealousy, and talking about unhealthy relationships in most every song.
So while you might think music is helping you connect with your partner, modern-day songs might actually be normalizing unhealthy attachment issues.
There’s an emphasis on picking an attractive partner in today’s world. Most dating apps are designed for users to pick potential partners based on looks alone. It’s led to the idea that physical attraction is a key component in successful relationships—but that’s not actually the case.
In fact, when researchers at the University of Tennessee studied physical attraction in newlyweds, they discovered that there was no relationship between either partner’s level of physical attraction and either........