You are not alone if you find it hard to bring your best self to work. In 2023, 32.3 percent of Americans reported anxiety or depression severe enough to be considered a disorder, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. This number doesn’t include those whose symptoms may not be bad enough to count as a disorder but are still feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or just down in the dumps.

We also know that leaders vastly underestimate how much their employees are suffering. In a recent study conducted by WorkplaceIntelligence, 74 percent of workers felt their mental health has gotten worse or stayed the same compared to last year. In contrast, 60 percent of employers think their workforce's mental health has improved this past year.

Why the disconnect? The answer seems straightforward to me.

When we enter the workplace, we keep our suffering to ourselves. Any distress we may be feeling goes underground. As we try to get work done, it resides in our silence and secrets.

Consider the following scenario, one that might be shared with a job coach or a therapist:

I take pride in my work and have always been extremely professional. Sometimes this means I need to put on a mask when I enter the office. No matter what chaos is going on at home, I have never let it show when I get to work. But some days, I struggle to get that mask on. Like today. I couldn’t stop worrying about my 16-year-old daughter, who has been hanging out with the wrong crowd and skipping school. All I could do today was think about our argument this morning. I kept thinking, ‘where is she now? Has she ducked out of school and is hanging out–who knows where–with the wrong crowd?’

The scenario is not hard to relate to. We’ve all had something like this going on in our lives at one point or another. If you imagine yourself in the above scenario–or think about your own version–chances are you decided to put the game face on when you got to work for one of the following reasons: (feel free to check all that apply)

According to a recent study, these four beliefs are the most common reasons employees give for not sharing their troubles with colleagues. According to the study, suffering is one of those topics that we don’t feel comfortable talking about in the workplace.

Yet, I think it is time for us to make the case that it is okay to have this conversation. Here are three good reasons:

In other words, it’s time for us to start talking. Here are three steps you can take to make a difference:

References

If you are looking for a good resource on additional approaches to designing compassionate work environments, check out this resource Awakening Compassion at Work, by Monica Worline and Jane Dutton from the Center for Positive Organizations, Ross School of Business.