Breaking Free From the Role I Was Given as a Child |
This morning, a part of my dissociative identity disorder system said something quietly but clearly: “I married my father.” As a child, I was placed into the role of my father’s wife. Breaking down the walls of denial in my DID system of parts has been anything but easy, but it has been necessary to thrive.
I was sitting across the table from my closest friend from graduate school as we co-worked. She is also a mob daughter, but from a different lineage. We were discussing how only now, in 2026, am I fully grasping who my father actually was, despite beginning trauma-informed therapy in 2012 and spending a life savings to survive, understand, and heal.
At the same time, another part of my system has begun the process of fusion. In my system, fusion means integrating into my whole being. This integration involves a male part who carries traits that mirror my father. In dissociative identity disorder treatment, this part would be called an introject, specifically an introject of my father. He is aggressive, suspicious, and hypervigilant. His words can be cruel. Unlike my father, however, this part is fiercely protective. He has been fighting for safety for as long as I can remember, even before I knew him.
Others in my life have encountered him directly. When my system experiences extreme internal terror, he steps forward to regain control in........