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Some of the brightest people repeatedly make poor romantic choices.

Smart people excel primarily at deliberative thinking, whereas wise people rely more on intuitive reasoning.

Healthy relationships require more than intelligence; they require the integration of thought and feeling.

Romantic flourishing depends on wisdom: the ability to discern what truly matters in love.

"Be as smart as you can, but remember that it is always better to be wise than to be smart." —Alan Alda

"A wise girl knows her limits; a smart girl knows that she has none." —Marilyn Monroe

Being smart is widely regarded as a valuable cognitive asset. It enables people to acquire knowledge quickly, solve complex problems, and succeed in demanding careers. Yet intellectual brilliance offers no guarantee of romantic success. Some of the brightest people repeatedly choose unsuitable partners, ignore obvious warning signs, or try to solve emotional problems with logic alone.

Why does this happen? The answer lies in the distinction between being smart and being wise—and in recognizing that successful romantic relationships demand more than intelligence.

Following Spinoza's (1677) lead, we can distinguish three major forms of cognition: emotional intuition, deliberative thinking, and intuitive reasoning.

Emotional intuition operates rapidly and automatically, generating immediate feelings of attraction, fear, or affection. Deliberative thinking is slower and more analytical, allowing us to compare alternatives, weigh evidence, and solve explicit problems.

A third form—intuitive reasoning, a hallmark of wisdom—goes........

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