Is Romantic Curiosity a Virtue? |
“Curiosity implies interest, and that sparks chemistry if it goes both ways.”—A woman
Curiosity—the human drive to seek information—is immensely valuable, as it broadens our horizons and develops our capacities. But does this hold for romantic curiosity and, in particular, romantic window-shopping?
Searching for the Best Deal in Town
“You’re window shopping… You’re only looking around, You’re not buying, You’re just trying to find the best deal in town.”—Hank Williams
Window-shopping and romantic window-shopping are enjoyable in the short term but rarely have long-term effects, as they are typically superficial. Still, because window-shopping can boost our well-being, it may have cumulative value—people are, after all, looking “for the best deal in town.”
Shopping is an extrinsic activity, measured by efficiency; people want to pay as little as possible for superior merchandise. Window-shopping, by contrast, is driven by intrinsic curiosity—a relaxing, no-strings-attached experience. Like other intrinsic activities, it is not stressful or hurried.
Romantic dating resembles shopping: Both are goal-directed activities aimed at obtaining something desirable. A key component of dating, like shopping, is searching for a suitable object—whether a person or a product. Success depends on efficiency: finding the optimal choice while investing minimal resources (time, money, effort). Yet, like window-shopping, some forms of dating have intrinsic value, with no intent to “purchase” or commit.
Window-shopping can lift your mood, but it does not develop your essential capacities. The same applies to romantic window-shopping, such as flirting. Flirting is playful and charming,........